Saturday, July 18, 2015

What If Creative Accountants Were Also Masters of Creative Job Offers?

Then it might look something like this:

We have offered you $7.25 per hour to work part-time washing dishes. You are understandably concerned that it might not be enough to live on.

Let's do some crude back of the envelope math to see how much you will earn in a year.

$7.20 per hour is exactly 20% of a penny each second that you work. That certainly makes the math easy. Of course, you won't be making just $7.20 an hour. You'll actually be making a nickel more than that, thanks to the national minimum wage. Our crude estimate based on 20% of a penny per second may therefore be a bit low.

There are 60 seconds in a minute, but let's round that off to 100 to keep the math easy.

There are 60 minutes in an hour, but let's round that off to 100 to keep the math easy.

You will be working 5 hours per day, but let's round that off to 10 to keep the math easy.

You will be working 5 days per week, but let's round that off to 10 to keep the math easy.

There are 52 weeks in a year, but let's round that off to 100 to keep the math easy.

You will therefore be making about $200,000 per year, give or take.

20% x $0.01 x 100 x 100 x 10 x 10 x 100 = $200,000

As you can see, we are being more than generous with our part-time job offer. You'd be a fool to turn it down.

Don't forget about our unique stock option plan. Like other highly compensated employees here, you will always have the option to buy our company's stock at market prices. Of course, that's true even if you decide not to work here. That just shows how generous we can be.

And if that wasn't enough, ask us about our health insurance plan once you start working, or anything else that might interest you: like an annual all expense paid vacation to Disneyland, a well funded company pension, or a chance to win a million dollars each time you come to work on time. We are firm believers in the theory that there are no such things as stupid questions.

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