Thursday, June 10, 2010

The Sarcasm Report v.50

Top 10 Trading Rules

10 comments:

Stagflationary Mark said...

My mind was filled with so much sarcasm that I had to resort to a moment of silence. Sorry about that.

EconomicDisconnect said...

The trading rules are so cool, if only I had them years ago, HA!

Stagflationary Mark said...

GYSC,

Hahaha! I think my favorite is...

"Trading is a competitive business, and one can assume the person sitting on the other side of a trade is taking full advantage of technology."

He's got a frickin' mainframe, decades of trading experience, earns 7 digits per year in bonuses, and is watching your every move with eagle eyes. That's what you should be assuming.

Warning: The following video is somewhat graphic.

Eagle vs. Goat

EconomicDisconnect said...

I love the stop loss thingy, after the flash crash you can kiss that baby bye bye.

Stagflationary Mark said...

Just 3 more days left on my blog's poll. Dennis Kneale? The crow? Who will win! The race is too close to call.

Here's a news update.

June 10, 2010
Are We Giving Up On Jobs Yet?

Remember folks, according to the Dennis Kneale's of the world the recession ended this month last year.

Here's some equal airtime for the crow.

May 4, 2010
Time To Whistle A Bit.....

Unfortunately the flood of liquidity from these "programs" has led to a whole host of otherwise-rational people crowing about "new bull markets" and "V-shaped recoveries."

In the crow's defense, it was not the crow crowing. I'm fairly sure the crow was still eating the remains of the dotcom and real estate bubble's innards.

Carrion Crow

Though an eater of carrion of all kinds, the Carrion Crow will eat insects, worms, grain, small mammals, and scraps and will also steal eggs.

It loves to steal nest eggs most of all, or so it is rumored.

Stagflationary Mark said...

GYSC,

Indeed. The stop loss thingy experienced a rube "goldman" moment. Hahaha!

The Genius of Rube Goldberg

watchtower said...

What???

Somebody out there besides myself voted for Kneale?

I was prepared to take my a** whipin' alone, but fate has stepped in for a last minute reprieve.

Next thing you know some good job numbers will come in and...

...and we'll be having some crow pie!

Go stock market!

Go Dennis!

There is no way "this sucker is going down" again!

Woo hoooo!!!

Stagflationary Mark said...

watchtower,

We know you voted for Dennis Kneale and the odds of Dennis Kneale reading my blog are astronomically low.

Yet how does one explain 2 votes?

OMG! It might be a black swan event!

watchtower said...

The black swan and I are mearly "climbing the wall of worry"!

Go all in stocks now!

"To infinity and beyond!"

(Disclosure: To my black swan friend out there, please do not go all in stocks right now on my advice, unless of course you savor the flavor of Ramen noodles)

Stagflationary Mark said...

watchtower,

I'm working on a new financial innovation right now that might help you maximize your gains.

The market allows you to use "stop losses" to lock in the maximum losses you are willing to accept.

I could offer a product that could hedge against that. I'm calling it a stop stop loss.

Let's say you buy a stock at $50 and you place a stop loss at $40 AND a stop stop loss at $40. That's twice the protection.

If the stock drops to $40 then nothing happens because the stop stop loss stops the stop loss.

If the stock then rises back to $50 you don't actually lose any money at all. Genius!

I also have another product that completely protects you from any downside risk.

I call it a stop gain stop loss. That has to be applied as you buy it though. Here's how it works.

Let's say you give me $50 to buy the stock for you using a stop gain stop loss. I bury the money in the back yard. Any time you want the money I simply go to my back yard and dig it back up for you. No matter what happens to that stock, your money is safe. Genius!