Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Oil Performance (Musical Tribute)

1a. Oil prices rose much faster (in percentage terms) than stock prices and housing prices on the way up.

1b. Oil prices crashed much harder (in percentage terms) than stock prices and housing prices on the way down.

So where are we now?

2a. Oil prices are now rising much faster (in percentage terms) than stock prices and housing prices on the way up, again. In fact, oil is beating the living daylights out of housing prices right now (since housing prices are still going down).

I have this strange feeling of déjà vu. Will there be a 2b? How much longer before we get the rest of the cycle? I therefore offer the stagflationary theme song as sung through the lungs of oil. Oil is such a great performer!




I heard the following joke on the radio. I doubt I can do it justice but I'm going to give it a shot (and seriously embellish the heck out of it for dramatic effect ;)).

A guy sees an ad in the paper for a dog. He visits the house and asks the owner if he can see it. The owner tells him that the dog is in the back yard.

The guy heads off to the back yard. The dog is just sitting there, looking at him. The guy says, "Hey, you are a pretty good looking dog." The dog replies, "Thanks."

The guy is blown away! He exclaims, "Holy cow! You are a talking dog!" The dog replies, "Yeah, it's a long story." The guy wants to know all the details and the dog is more than happy to comply. Here is his story.

"I learned to talk as a puppy. I was able to read the lips of all the animals that I have met and that combined with my advanced intellect allowed me to pick up their languages fluently. Humans are one such animal. At the age of one, I convinced my owner to send me off to college. I told him there would be money in it for him and his small investment would pay off big time. It would have too, in ways he couldn't have possibly even imagined, except that I was halfway through my PhD in Physics when the CIA caught wind of my genius. I was shipped off quietly to Langley for advanced training.

The training didn't take long since I'm such a faster learner and was naturally adept at the obstacle courses. Once complete, I found myself on a military transport plane headed overseas. I was dropped near a terrorist training camp and had no problem whatsoever infiltrating their network. Nobody expected a talking dog, much less one with an IQ off the charts. After thwarting many serious threats to our country, I was then sent to Europe. There, I uncovered a threat to use nuclear weapons against us. In the days that followed, I single-handedly managed to save the entire planet from global war. Of course, nobody knows about that. Nobody ever hears of the successes in the CIA, only the failures.

After putting in a few more years of hard work, and after saving the planet numerous additional times, I finally convinced the CIA that it was time to retire. Sure, they attempted to stop me but by that point they were no match for my counterattempts. In the end, they knew it was best to just let me go peacefully."

The dog then says, "That's where you come in. I'm done saving the country. I'm also burned out. I just need an owner who wants to play frisbee every now and then, but mostly I'd just like to kick back on the couch, perhaps sharing stories of my exploits. Can you blame me?"

The guy can't believe it. He walks back into the house to speak to the owner. He says, "So let me get this straight. You only want $10 for THAT dog? How can it be?" The owner replies...

"That dog is SUCH a liar! He didn't do ANY of that stuff!"


That dog reminds me of our economy for some strange reason. Hahaha! Sigh.

2 comments:

mab said...

Stag,

I ran across this neat little interactive sham organizer:

http://www.usbudgetwatch.org/stimulus?sort=desc&order=%3Ccenter%3E%3Cu%3EAmount%3Cbr%3ESpent%3Cbr%3E%28in+bil%29%3C%2Fcenter%3E%3C%2Fu%3E

It's a helpful tool for keeping track of the size and scope of the stupidity and looting. Lots of imbedded links too. If for some reason we can't get back to the illusion of prosperity, it won't be for lack of trying.

As for the recent run up in the price of oil there could be a silver lining although it has only a small chance of materializing.

My hope is that high oil prices will focus the attention of the public on the current and long term costs of the bailouts. If nothing else, we should openly debate the actions of the fed and treasury. If people had a better understanding of the distribution of the bailout's benefits and costs, it would be a different ball game.

Stagflationary Mark said...

mab,

"If for some reason we can't get back to the illusion of prosperity, it won't be for lack of trying."

I hear that!